Dating: Negative review of Asiandate.com

Hello bloggers and fans! Long time no see (or since I felt the ‘writing bug’!)

I wanted to share some important news with you about the above site, which i felt impassioned enough about to write about. (Note: I have been sleep-deprived the past few days after the initial ‘shock and awe’ effect of the site. (A very impressive one – but – folks – be very, very wary!!! (Can you say that several times without erring? 🙂

So below are sites I accessed to get more information, after which I wrote my own commentary based on my experiences with Asiandate.com. Two important lessons:

1. This is a very, very expensive site.
2. They are not customer-friendly and are against issuing refunds though you may not perceive any real value for service. Please refer to the following sites:

 

1. https://omelettesbitsandbobs.blogspot.ca/2015/08/the-asiandatecom-dating-website-scam.html?showComment=1496966974140#c2397804177934706551
2. Use the following search criteria:  reviews of asiandate.com
3. Read my own review below:

Excellent review which jives with my experience to date (08 Jun 2017). I just had a chat w Francesca in Customer Service who refused to refund me $16 for those oh-so-unaccountable credits that get eaten up so fast! Apparently she will send me a full account (though after the fact and after I got in touch with my credit card company who had to advise me of their Customer Service number (not the one on site) and to try dealing with them first. Oh ya, having had such negative experiences with dating sites, I put my questions on the Customer Service section of their site. Yep, you guessed it! No reply to questions about auto-billing and perceived value for service including a confirmation that there would be fair dealings….NOT! The company holds all the cards and charges a lot of money for the privilege of using their site. STAY AWAY DARLINGS!

Nilesh Shreedhar.

I just thought you might be interested…:)

Hello folks! I enjoy writing periodically. What I enjoy much more is the positive responses I get from the general reading public that keeps me going, doing something as solitary as writing….…

Source: I just thought you might be interested…:)

I just thought you might be interested…:)

Hello folks!

I enjoy writing periodically. What I enjoy much more is the positive responses I get from the general reading public that keeps me going, doing something as solitary as writing….

Writing can be ‘alone’ time, ‘passing up a nice social event’ time, time on your own ‘creating, effecting, or somehow changing the world to make it a better place’ time.

A sincere thank you to my readers. Your comments are delightful, and I appreciate the time you take to give me your responses. From today you may see slight changes to the website as WordPress (to whom I am ever grateful!), for a reasonable fee, has allowed me to monetize the site.

Given the confidence I place in this wonderful organization, I am sure that it will result in nothing but positive outcomes. I expect there to be a generation both foreseen and unexpected ones. That’s what change does. It allows you to grow. One small change can seed future fruit aplenty!

I like to journal. Many writers probably do. This WordPress entry is inspired by the simple joy of writing ,being read, and giving thanks to readers, for this very gift that I’ve been given and for a special moment I wish to share with you. Permit me to meander and share recent experiences of life’s ups and downs a bit…I promise I will try to tie things up at the end!  🙂

Some people say that I’m a good writer. I now truly believe it to be so, although if you tried applying to a Federal government competition recently, you might not think  so! One of the reasons used to screen me out stated that, as far as the competition was concerned I did not meet their writing abilities criteria. LOL. Well if I didn’t meet it, then who did? And who says so?

It made me realize that we should take everything in stride, or as my father might say, “It’s not the end of the world!’ True. Judging by the positive feedback I’ve been given from work colleagues and reviewers of my site alike, I think it’s important both to believe in ourselves, and not to take feedback too seriously. There may be other factors at play. For example, there are many hundreds of applications made to Canadian federal jobs these days. So any slight slip on your part may get you screened out! It doesn’t mean I’m not a good writer, only that a screening tool has been used to consider other applications which meet the hiring criteria more closely, or the background characteristics that the organization is searching for. Sometimes I think that they are looking more for a ‘yes’ man, and not someone who can actually think, or go against the flow, turning it in another direction, in order to create a greater benefit for all. But I digress…

I guess I wish to stress that if there is some skill that you feel that you do particularly well, you owe it to yourself to pursue that passion, along with other enjoyable passions you may share with others. I happen to love sports! I’ve gotten pretty good at them. Given the fact that I’ve taught a Leadership course at school (with some wonderful feedback) and yoga at work during lunch time, I thought I could handle teaching squash to a newly-made friend from Meetup.com! Today I did just that! I went downtown to play, nay, teach squash, to someone who always wanted to learn!

The experience brought a lot of joy to both of us…she learned how to play squash (‘I always wanted to learn!’) from a patient instructor, and I enjoyed both the interaction and the scenery, both within and without the confines of her pristine building and her wonderful condominium strategically situated. You see, my friend happens to live downtown in one of the prime locations in Toronto, in the Queen’s Quay, Harbourfront area!

When we went out to celebrate my very first ever and also our very first ever and very positive squash teacher-student interaction,  afterwards we reveled in the scenery around us, taking in the sights, sounds, and the boat cruises along the lovely and serene harbour front. We had an enjoyable chat and a good bite to eat.

I am thankful that I have an open spirit, willing to learn from new experiences and from others… and I’m thankful that I made a new friend, and that we spent some wonderful time together. Memories that won’t easily be forgotten….

Well…I just thought you might be interested!

Now, how can you make your day or evening a better one?   😉

Good luck!

-Nilesh Shreedhar.

 

 

 

 

Laughter or Lecture?

I haven’t posted an article for a while but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been busy doing things that are fun and that help develop life skills.

For example, today I found myself counselling family members on leadership. I would have entitled the engaging discussion we had as “Laughter or Lecture.”

In this day and age when adult children are staying longer periods with parents, it’s really important that everyone gets along in a harmonious fashion. Without belabouring the point, in what way are you more apt to be able to teach such adults? With laughter or a lecture?

Intuitively we realize that laughter is the key. However, too many of us are tired or in difficult jobs, so sometimes we lack the energy to educate effectively.

Just remember, adults are more likely to learn things from older adults if they are taught in a fun way. This demonstrates real and authentic leadership. Don’t be the “prince of darkness” in your approach with them. All doom and gloom and lecure-y! There’s no quicker way to tune them out and to lose their interest!

Remember to laugh and to have joyous times with them, and they are much more likely to imbibe the important life lessons that you wish to impart to them!

Best regards,

Nilesh Shreedhar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HRPA 2016, Jan 19-22.

Brief nuggets of things gleaned at the HRPA Conference that I wanted to share with you folks…

Gender differences in processing information.

Scientific data proves men and women process info differently…if you want to make an excellent decision, include all stakeholders…a really good idea to ask women what they ‘see’ because of the way the process information. They have a more holistic approach with includes more factors, men in general have a quicker approach and make decisions faster based on the immediate factors they see before them. Both are equally intelligent, in different ways. Good decision making includes both approaches.

Mental health…

More and more an issue; panel discussion included famous lawyer (Malcolm McKillop was his name if I’m not mistaken), and Clara Hughes (6 x Olympian; Bell commercials raising awareness for this cause). She was plagued with these issues (father alcoholic, dysfunctional family interactions). She made a strong call to action for there to be more resources allocated to mental health, catching it in the nip. A timely intervention can make someone (she is an example) still be able to make huge contributions to society.

Creativity…

David Usher…singer, 6 time Juno winner. Consults universities, and other organizations as board member. Graduate of Simon Fraser University (Pol. Science). Son of Professor.

‘Creative collisions’ occur and composed of 95% work. We are all creative beings. You need a structure in order to use these creative collisions. There is no magic…creativity is mixing and matching to create that magic. He begins with a blank page and his source of inspiration (a picture of himself at 3 years of age with a bow and arrow) gleefully free to do (create) whatever he decided on.

Benjamin Tal. (Very educated economist who hobnobs with people like Greenspan (of the U.S.) and influential Bank of Canada representatives).

Yes the next year will be painful in that economy is dicey all over the world. However these are growing pains due to changes in the economy where money is shifting from oil to commodities. Ultimately, given that we’ve lost 10 to 20 pc of our manufacturing sector in Canada, opportunities will exist in the commodities sectors.

Gaming, gamification.

Gaming concepts are being used to provide training. This provides an interactive, fun and stimulating way for people to learn company material. You will see this more often being implemented in organizations due to its effectiveness and cost savings and other ripple effect benefits.

The above information helps us be calmer about the future (2016 economy) and opens us to what to expect in the near future (gamification – is this word in everyone’s dictionary yet?), as well as helping us to keep alert about mental issues (‘am I my brother’s keeper? Yes, I guess you are!). Free yourself to be your creative best in 2016 and use diversity to your advantage!

Best,

-Nilesh Shreedhar.

Suggestions for Exam Stress

Suggestions for Students in handling Exam Stress (in response to ‘U of T Confessions.’

Hello there everyone. I saw this note on the  ‘ U of T Confessions’ page of a Facebook friend’s timeline – Bala’s a first rate individual and person I am proud to call a friend of mine who I met through meditation (Vipassana meditation -www.torana.dhamma.org).

First of all I can really relate to the angst that you students are feeling especially at exam time, but also in the general bad feeling one gets when one is trying to do well at University (college, school in general – from high school and above) often with parents having paid or assisted greatly with tuition (especially in Asian communities).

I positively assure you that I felt the same way – I often felt anxious and insecure much of the time through classes, especially difficult ones, which is the general sentiment of the above writing – a fear of failure, or doing poorly with the possible inherent life consequences to career and future potential. As someone who got through this period with equal or similar difficulty, I can offer you some things that worked for me and which I discovered late in life.

Hopefully this will save you some time and trouble. I offer you several tools from my experiences.

They all work really well and one in particular can be applied instantly with immediate results. I should mention that I also practice reflexology on weekends at the Royal College of Massage Therapy in North York, Ontario, Canada, and share this type of information with clients.

I’ve recently discovered something called 4-2-7 breathing (variant: 4-7-8 breathing). When you feel stressed, breathe slowly over a count of 4. Hold for 7 counts (or two if you are a beginner), then exhale slowly over a count of 8. Your body will immediately show benefits in reduction of blood pressure and more regularized breathing. Try it! Stress has been the subject of many workshops that I have attended, (including those from practitioners of Naturopathy, Chiropractic and health and fitness instructors. I myself gave a speech on it as a Toastmaster a while back. This is one of many tips I can offer you as I felt obligated to share this information.

Other suggestions I can offer, but which I would like to elaborate on at a future date based on interest would be yoga, sports in general, especially those involving deep breathing, reflexology, massage, and something called neurolinguistic programming as I listen to an MP3 I downloaded (on visualization and the Law of Attraction). Lately I have been trying this. I must source credit and give source to the great work of Vishen Lakhiani (Mindvallley.com), and Marisa Peer (“Law of Attraction mp3) but also to the related great work of Asha Gill (Soulvana.com) and Dr. Michael Beckwith – https://agapelive.com/about-agape/michael-bernard-beckwith/#.VocFTfkrLIU).

The “Law of Attraction mp3” I was recently fortunate to download (as a participant in a worldwide podcast by Marisa Peer) is related to hypnosis and getting the mind into a relaxed state (where it can learn effectively) and ‘calling upon the universe,’ if you can relate to this concept: allowing yourself to act as a magnet to attract the things in life that you desire. From an intuitive and personal life experience perspective I feel that this works. I feel negativity of any form has always hurt me, whereas positivity, thinking good thoughts, and generally being a positive ‘light’ has always ‘attracted’ good things to me….So I speak from personal experience, not just ‘bookish’ knowledge…

From what I understand this concept of ‘attraction’ has an actual basis in quantum physics, which students should be able to relate to (especially ones in engineering and related subjects!) On that topic, one of the sources listed are James Allen’s “As a Man Thinketh,” and the 2007 movie “The Secret.” At the very least listening to such calming mp3’s or watching such movies I assure you will give you a scientific basis and tools to calm yourself to get yourself to a mind state which allows you to problem solve and study effectively.

I just wanted to say that I can truly relate to the student’s exam plight, the anxiety to perform well (which has always been a problem for me when under pressure, and which I suspect many are suffering from; nlp – neurolingusitic programming – science seems to indicate we learn MUCH BETTER in a RELAXED state of mind (so do what you can to achieve that to REDUCE STUDY TIMES) and that I can offer more tips if queried.

I may also offer my blog for you to go through as you will find many similar related articles which you may find useful:neilshreedhar.wordpress.com. I also offer youneilshreedhar.wix.com/goodenergy a website related to one of my passions, reflexology and which website I consider a work in progress as I am not very ‘techie’ oriented (so open to suggestions folks!) but which has useful related information also.

• Nilesh Shreedhar.

Inner self talk is critical to success in life.

Finding your voice.

Past voices….

As usual, Toastmasters never ceases to inspire….

Using a style of writing that I’ve used before, and tying in to my ending, I will tell you where I am headed with this piece of writing….to My goals (please use this as a work-through (or ‘workshop’) to achieve whatever happen to be YOUR goals! This is meant to INSPIRE YOU! LOL). I want to share how important self-talk can be to success in life….

I promise to get you there reasonably quickly via past voices (negative ones of course) that my Toastmaster mentor Dawna (short form To-rmentor? No, I digress)…I will keep her last name private, but she does exist and has inspired many) was able to work through…given her near-death experience. Yes, near-death. Don’t wait for life to take you there before you take life where you want to go!

Come, now let us work through this together. Dawna’s Toastmaster workshop (Jan 2015) took us through a time long ago in her life, which still resonated slightly in her mind. We could see that she still had a little bit more work to do (as far as positive self-talk was concerned).

Years back, it was the teacher’s voice (Miller) that spoke to her and compared her negatively to her sister, older to her, and better at many things. This left her in a wake of comparisons made by other teachers who invariably knew her sister and made negative inferences too….

Lesson: ignore the negative voices in life (the ones that don’t fit in with a healthy self-image of yourself). For your benefit, and to personalize this story a bit more, here is an excerpt from the handout that Dawna provided us, so you get the point…idea is to work through your negative voices, so put this piece into practice, will ya! Do this by answering italicized questions….or absorbing the presented information to improve your thinking. Here are the excerpts (italicized):

My Mr. Miller is….

‘Certainly not as good as your sister are you?’  (This had a huge impact on Dawna’s life…  She gave up – she quit! Lesson: don’t listen to negative voices, DON’T QUIT! EV-ER! This is when you go Lalalalala in your head! As a child, or as an adult. Don’t listen! LOL.

In retrospect, what should Dawna (read ‘this could be any one of us, but we will use Dawna as our guinea-pig test person as per her workshop) have done differently? (Folks, this is where you are supposed to THINK and come up with some positive solutions – for the rusty, just substitute any positive affirmation)

‘It’s a product of what I did!  It’s my best work ever!’  Remember, whatever you have created (at school, work, or play), is PERSONAL expression and it is NOT – NOT to be compared with others….even (or especially) when you are a teacher (read mentor, parent, older respected sibling et al).

My nurse Amanda is…I should explain; nurse Amanda was the one who Dawna first heard say ‘we didn’t think you would survive!’ when Dawna ended up in the hospital due to serious stress related conditions. The italicized portion below will explain how she internalized this statement. (Backdrop: Shakespeare – remember, ‘nothing is good or bad, thinking makes it so!’)

Dawna: through self-induced stress…. She was barely conscious.  Stressed.  Exhausted. She spent three weeks in a hospital!  Nurse Amanda: ‘Dawna, we didn’t think you would survive!’

So…Dawna felt she was not supposed to be here! (Yes – she meant on earth)… She stopped having fun.  It was a ‘Wow’ experience – in a very negative way!

My Jennifer is…again, this bears explanation…in Dawna’s workshop, Jennifer was a good buddy and best friend who helped her realize the positives in life; she offered Dawna heart-felt and sincere encouragement and helped her heal from her negative thinking and cloudy past.

My cheer-leading team: Who is yours? For example, one of mine is: Shelley U., David L., and Isabelle H.  They are my encouragers and I probably owe them a debt of gratitude. Not probably, I do. Thank the people that believe and encourage you….

Lesson:

Shakespeare:

‘ Nothing is good or bad… thinking makes it so….’

Now, as per Dawna’s workshop….we are going back and reliving those moments in life, (we all have them) using a NEW perspective and the introspective that Dawna provided us:

My future voices…

If I could go back to Mr. Miller I would….  Have the wisdom I now have, with conviction….

I now choose to tell myself….  ‘Nothing is good or bad thinking makes it so.’

If I could go back to my nurse Amanda I would….

Use more positive affirmations, and change the (negative) messages in my head. I’d meditate, be more healthy, associate with positive people, stay healthy, and have more purpose in life.  Live a renewed life as a second chance….for living in greater abundance!

I now choose to tell myself….my affirmations….

‘Nothing is good or bad thinking makes it so.’

If I could go back to my Jennifer I would…

Thank her!

Realize ‘they’ (the negative ones) don’t know me….  hence they Gotta be wrong.

Watch serials Buddha and Suits. (I love them!)

My leadership voice…

I need to tell Trish P that she is quick and decisive.

I need to tell Kalida….thank you!

I need to tell Agee….hey! Thanks for being you!

Lesson:

Inner self talk is crucial to success in life.

BIG take-away from this workshop: How to turn negative talk into something positive.

PEOPLE, your self-talk is really important! It can ultimately be damaging or life-enhancing. At least be a good ‘Buddhist’ and ‘take the middle road’ and don’t be too hard on yourselves. (Talk out your negatives out loud to see if they sound ‘right’ or completely off the wall!)

In sum, Donna was shy and timid….  Her sister was an athletic and an academic star.  Jen was a best friend and star athlete.  Donna was part of a big family of children who were special from top to bottom yet Donna felt stuck in the middle, forgotten and unimportant.  Birth order can be determinative of how you feel – if you let it! Donna felt like someone stuck in the middle.

To overcome her difficulties though, she changed her mind set and the way she talked to herself….

Here’s one final positive thought for us to all take away…. to be more mindful of, and kinder and gentler with ourselves… what Donna learned from a positive role model, mentor and good friend….

Her friends said that though she was not the end pieces in her large family of siblings…she was the peanut butter…. the jam that made the whole sandwich sweet! (Aww!’ So sweet! No pun intended.)

So be good to yourself, and everyone else will too! We can be our own worst enemies, or our own best friends. It just takes a mental adjustment! You know….

Inner Self-talk can be critical to success in life!

Nilesh Shreedhar.

It’s Not About You! Vegas gems from TM International Conference.

Here is another of the wealth of ideas gleaned from the recent Vegas convention I attended (I still have many more pieces of writing I want to post!)

Well you know the format…if you’ve been following….Here it is once again, in case this is a ‘one-off’ for you and you happen to have just ‘dropped in,’ so to speak. (No hyphens). J

Organization: Toastmasters.org (International) at TM International Conference: August 13-16, 2015.

Patrick Hammond, Toastmasters, Las Vegas Championship Entry Speech.

Venue: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, U.S.A.

Purpose of this post (Acronym: R O S E):

1. To Retain this valuable information for posterity.
2. To Offer inspiration to people.
3. To Share the wisdom gleaned from motivational and inspirational speech givers at such events.
4. To Effect positive changes in the world.

 

It’s not about you

Patrick Hammond.

A thief stole sentimental things from his home….Patrick, a youth leader learned from his youth group that such thieves, due to the way they operate, are called ‘flockers,’ –  a new word for Patrick, juvenile care worker. ‘Think about the effect on those you are connected to,’ he said….
He spoke of broken promises; of his own mother who had colon cancer. His brother had broken the law. Their mother was now on her death bed, but was hanging on. The possibility of mother and incarcerated brother being able to speak was remote, but she wanted to hang on only to speak to this son….

Patrick, asked his juvenile kids the important question, ‘why did she hang on before she passed?’

Practically shouting at us in a dramatic finish to his speech, (as he must have with those under his care). No! not just to have closure with the son – but the more important lesson here was that your actions have serious consequences -on those you love….and… whether they can live or even die… in peace! It’s not about you!

In the end – literally at the very end in the case of his mother’s life – it’s not about you!  It’s more about the effect you have on the people in your life.

The story was an excellent instructional tool for kids… no… for us all, actually….worth thinking about!

That’s today’s post folks!

Best regards,

Nilesh Shreedhar

What is a Thought Ninja? (More Vegas TM Content)

Here is a concept I learned from the recent Vegas convention I attended (I still have 14 or so more pieces of writing I want to post!)

Well you know the format…if you’ve been following….Here it is once again, in case this is a ‘one-off’ for you and you happen to have just ‘dropped in,’ so to speak (I hate hyphens, sorry). Let me reword that, I can’t be bothered….no hate involved. That wouldn’t be very equanimous…apologies…inside joke for Vipassana meditators http://www.torana.dhamma.org/) . LOL.

Organization: Toastmasters.org (International) at TM International Conference: August 13-16, 2015.

Ed Young, Toastmasters, Las Vegas Championship Entry Speech.

Venue: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, U.S.A.

Purpose of this post (Acronym: R O S E):

1. To Retain this valuable information for posterity.
2. To Offer inspiration to people.
3. To Share the wisdom gleaned from motivational and inspirational speech givers at such events.
4. To Effect positive changes in the world.

This speech was done by Ed Young and it was about keeping your promises, during the just completed International Toastmasters Conference in Las Vegas, U.S.A. As such, if it inspires even one person today, I think it will have accomplished it’s goal….

What is a thought ninja? Ed Young, asked?

He accomplished the commendable goal of staying sober for 16 years.

As I quickly tried to take notes at the convention, it soon became obvious that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with all the messages from all the different speakers. So I aimed for content….this one had a significant message:

The point of his story was that Ed was able to stay the with girl of his dreams….He did that by ‘assassinating the negative thoughts.’

So he called upon us to ‘dare to achieve your dreams,’ as he said, others may be depending on you….like a little girl, or a bride to be, someone who believes in you. Important to do so…so they keep theirs….too.

Before we let our dreams get compromised, analyze the content in your minds. Is it being sabotaged by little ‘thought ninjas?’ You must assassinate them upon contact!

Wonderful speech. Still a winning one in my books…for its content! So defeat your thought ninjas and achieve your goals, your dreams!

That’s today’s post folks!

Best regards,

Nilesh.

 

 

 

 

Profound lesson learned from Darren Lacroix. (And Jim Rohn)

Speech giver: Darren Lacroix. (Toastmasters speaker, comedian, motivational speaker and general all-round super-hero good guy).

Organization: Toastmasters.org (International) at TM International Conference: August 13-16, 2015.

Venue: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, U.S.A.

Purpose of this post (Acronym: R O S E):

1. To Retain this valuable information for posterity.
2. To Offer inspiration to people.
3. To Share the wisdom gleaned from motivational and inspirational speech givers at such events.
4. To Effect positive changes in the world.

This short speech (I think I actually may have shortened it to its essence), was given by Darren Lacroix, Key note speaker at Caesar’s Palace during the just completed International Toastmasters Conference in Las Vegas, U.S.A. I’m not even sure that it had a title, or if, in giving you the title, due to its depth, conciseness and clarity, would just give away the purpose of this post! He in turn, learned the lesson from Jim Rohn….

Darren is a popular motivational speaker in his own right (StageTimeUniversity.com) and his information is at the same time profound as it is inspirational in that it allows people to move ahead due to its clarity, purpose and wisdom.

Anyhow, this is what I learned at the above venue from Darren Lacroix (think about it for a minute or two):

You are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with.

Now that should cause you to think about who you think about, why you think the way you do, and even more importantly, why you are not achieving what you want to in life! Now that’s worth thinking about! Maybe even about those ’crabs’ in the bucket, that won’t let you out for whatever reasons, including insecurities of their own.

Maybe you should reconsider who you would like to spend most of your time with. In my view, this includes the books (‘friends’) you read, and the social media interactions (mine include Twitter, Facebook, and WordPress) that you ‘associate’ with. These can be wholly positive or detrimental to your future put in the above light.

Why not make wiser choices about how and with whom you spend your valuable time? Choose carefully!

Best wishes,

Nilesh Shreedhar.

NeilShreedhar’s Blog: https://neilshreedhar.wordpress.com